.::it's all here::.

...a failed attempt to translate thoughts and feelings into words...

Thursday, February 15

[so much for] breif

i know what i said, 'last post for a long time'...well, sh. but im not going to capatalize and all that.....soo it's pretty much friday. and i've had a fairly okay week. my snow day was nice, very relaxing...well, i guess i had to go to the hospital to volunteer still...but whatever, i got a bread roll. so that was well worth it. hm *wednesday, psh. i did get what i hoped for...a stuffed bunny. annd i was told i would soon be receiving a fat teddy bear. :) *thursday...was very nice. went to lunch at the marylebone with my dad for 3 hours (well, not just there for that long)...and i now finally have jeans that fit me, for now at least. hmm oh yeah, and i decided when the snow begins to melt, im going to find a tennis court to play on. i always used to play waaaay back in middle school...but then i was banned from going to our park...soo i haven't since then...until today in gym. badmitton (sp). i am the best. hands down. i actually sweated a little...which was very exciting.

well,,,it's almost friday. i said that...i doubt ill be seeing 'breach' with my long lost buddy tomorrow night. its my fault though. i didn't call them/call them back...until just now. and then left a message. so, yeah...oh well. im hoping one of my acquaintances from school comes to scarface at the midnight movie...that would definently make up for the previous mentioned...well, if not. ill still get to see 3 hours of epic violence...i have to admit [brace yourselves] i am kind of not looking forward to parts of it. ((gasp)) i know...but i have never seen this movie all the way through. just bits and pieces. and one part i did happen to see was the one where they are putting a chainsaw into his friend's head right in front of him...[now all who were kind of considering going, are like umm no i think im busy] chainsaws are my one no no. cannot handle them...

i haven't done my homework all week. just burned cds and played tetris and watched tv. it was great....but hence it is all due tomorrow, i should do it. but im not. i planned it out. im open every other class, sooo yeah it works perfectly and lets me get some sleep now. :) if i end up going to jno ill have my hair curled...maybe. ehhh maybe not. no probably not. scratch that..

you know what's another shocker?? i went shopping afterschool...i went to hell [the mall-westroads] and i got my clinique stuff...and then somehow wandered into the massive pit of hell. [the mall itself] annd no, i did not get anything. but i didn't get home until 630...i just literally walked around. scraped up enough change to buy a cookie...walked around. wandered into von maur, and was very disappointed to see the regular piano man was not there. :( but i saw poofy poofy dresses. real pretty...so i went over, and while 'collide' played real loud i looked at all the pretty pretty dresses that girls would get to wear to prom or whatever...it made me real sad. i dont necessarily care about prom and that shit. but i just want a pretty dress. i found the clearance rack...[no poofy dresses] but there was a pretty deep purplish pink dress with sheer black overlay. (wont go into detail) but, it was 52. and then as i was looking at it in the mirror i saw a similar styled dress that was pale blue and off white lacey overlay. oooh it looked soo neat "on" me, but it was 70...and my mom thought they resembled a slip, and i filled in the blanks...then i didnt get upset, i just jokingly said i would become a dyke/lesbian, well, before that i said 'fuck this i don't want to be a girl anyway. im just going to save up money and become a man, insurance will cover the surgery right mom?' ha...oh that was funny...to me at least...

i dont know, in a way im glad i didn't get anything...i would've felt guilty and then thrown out half of my closet to the homeless...soo haha...yeah, i don't know...i just wanted a pretty dress. all i have is the pink one. i love it. a lot. but it doesn't have too much life left. :( but i'll still wear it to its deaath...one day ill get a pretty dress and wear it a lot, and i don't know...just be pretty in it. maybe carry on the tradition and play football in it. :) ha...ohh maybe one day.

hmm well, i guess this is all fo rnow. oh i punched someone in the face today. my mom always told me i shouldn't fake punch because one day i will not be able to controll my fist and ill really punch them...well, this time, that was pretty much what happened. my dad [of all people] was slightly upset. haha oh well...i think saturday ill turn my phone on silent and sleep. the entire day. ...or maybe not. because the last time i did that i missed a large number of calls...which was weird...oh who cares. mmm sleep. bye


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