.::it's all here::.

...a failed attempt to translate thoughts and feelings into words...

Thursday, November 30



sso far thiss friday is falling to piecess...grr I sold my concert ticket today at school, sso I won't be going to that now ((still not coming to JNO on time though)), and the person i'm making plans with insstead iss really pisssing me off, and I'm really looking forward to going home....but I have to work. saturday is the last day now...it was SSUPPOSEd to be tonight, because I made arrangements for tomorow night, but whatever...I've only been getting an average of 4hrs of ssleep sa night lately...pssh and the reassons piss me off. But tonight i am going to bed right when I get home. I will force mysself any and every way posssible. grr I'm not in a good mood...but at the same time I'm content.....I don't know!

Oh and fuck phsyics..

Monday, November 27

:) :)

Don't know whether it's the quad shot of espresso or the foggy cold morning...but today is feeling like a good day. Despite I have to work tonight, didn't get much sleep at all last night, and am most likely going to get in trouble at school today. :) [they got nothing on me :P ] I don't know, but it feels like today will be a good day finally. :) [and without any additives]

It's an obligation to update. ((updated))

i don't feel like posting an entirely new post...soo im not. I had fun tonight, despite work. It was really nice to sit around with a few awesome and nice friends. :) Jackie's long hair in Shanghai Knights was really disturbing. haha Oh well....I hate how I give advice to people and help them in their life, when I should be taking my own advice and listening to myself. I decided to set a goal for myself...I want to complete my physics project that is 1.5 months overdue...I don't know. That's quite the chore, but I did manage to steal someone else's project to copy (someone stole it from someone and gave it to me)...so it won't be too hard. I really can't remember why I am posting...my dad really wants me to go to the swinging with a star thing on Dec 6...I don't know why, and I don't think I will. If I buy all my Christmas gifts now, I won't be able to waste the money on things that will fuck up my life...hmmm might be a good idea. If you read this you get a gift. I think...well, if I know you. Soo I can tell there really isn't much time left with my grandma. I've been up there 3x...and since Thanksgiving things have really started to not look good. For right now, I think I'm okay...I'm not exactly sure how I'll react when she actually goes, though. On Christmass day my grandparents will have been married 65ish years...maybe, jusst maybe she'll hang in there until then. :\ I really want to spill my guts right now...figuratively speaking, of course. mmm thank you so much for those junior mints...I'm once again, really really tired....but I probably won't be sleeping anytime soon. I love my dog a lot. I haven't had anytime to be with him because of work. :(

Yeah, it is...so, as I keep ssaying. my 's' key is fucked up pretty bad....I guesss it just turned super sensitive or something...but if I forget to fix an error, that's why. I'm really tired, and don't really feel like possting, but I will since I updated every other blog.

Right off the bat: I will barely be at jno this friday. There's a concert that night. haha Yeah, but I'll be there at 11ish....and SHAUN OF THE DEAD is the midnight MOVIE DEC 1

Life is okay...i know I haven't been "suzie" lately. And I'm ssorry...I have a few problems, my grandma being one you all know about. The other is a little obvious, but if you're really interested and don't know I'm down with telling you it if you're okay on my list. A few people have told me to censor shit like what I shouldnt be typing online. Apparently anybody can read it , soo someone you don't want to know would find out. I have no clue what I jsust wrote, and it kind of confusses me...

Next week (the dec 3-9 week) I decided I want to take a few dayss off of school and do NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. I'm going to lay in my bed all damn day and not move...unless I have to go to the bathroom....how exciting. :) oh yeah, and DEC 2 is my lasst day at work. It's sgoing to be alittle weird not having anything to do anymore...or will it? Well...I'm so tired. And I have to work AGAIN tomorrow. Pardon the complaining...but work is a very touchy topic to me. If you want to see me pisssed or flip some seriouss shit. Then talk to me about work. Or better yet, be like my mom and ask lots of quesstions about work...mm Junior mints...88 cents at walmart....mmmmm. I'm really tired...wouldn't it be cool if I had mono? Oh wait, no...maybe it wouldn't be.

99 hits of L.S.D. [ACiD] (Scoobie Doo Print)
This is so cool. But you don't get it...

Wednesday, November 22


this week has been fucking horrible...i don't feel like sharing. i will be at jno on time friday and very very happy and fake thanks to some motivation, if that's what it would be considered....don't ask questionss, just be happy I'm there and dance with me. No midnight movie, unless you really want to go see The Conformist...but I won't be there. and hope you guys have a good Thanksgiving.

Friday, November 17


OFFICE SPACE TONIGHT MIDNIGHT MOVIE...let me know who's going...Finishing up that skirt right now....ummm not much else that I feel like sharing with the world...just that I'm pissed off at myself for not being able to quit. I felt bad. I told her that I couldn't work anymore, and then as I was putting a bolt of fabric away, I'm like 'no...I can't do it. Then all the nice people will have to work a ton more'...Sooo I searched for her..and told her I could work the big sale dates through Decemeber. She probably thought I was fucking insane...I don't blame her. see you in 21 hours...

Wednesday, November 15


....I didn't go to the DMV because I was too tired...that seems to be a theme these past couple weeks. hmmm Sooo I didn't call work yesterday for two stupid reasons -i don't have (and couldnt find) the number- -i was sleeping- haha Yeah....I'll have to do that tonight. I started making a skirt last night...I think it'll be cute. black polka dots on white fabric...red/black tulle sticking out underneath. Hopefully I'll get it done tonight.

That's annother thing..I need to get a lot of 3 week old projects turned in for physics. It's amazing how fast your grade can go from an 'a' to a 'f', I brought it back up to a 'd' now...still not sure how. I don't feel like turning in those projects, though. I didn't like that unit...the teacher threatened to schedule me in the physics room during my open periods until I get that stuff done...screw that. But I should get that grade up for cheaper insurance......too much work though, ughhhh. junior mints...

Tuesday, November 14


sooo haven't really felt like blogging much lately...I have a lot of shit on my mind. And it's not fun, and it would sure as hell not be fun to read. It's so not fun that I don't even want to get up in the morning anymore...I now get up at 7-710ish as opposed to 630 or 600, yep. well...One thing I'll tell you is that work wants me to stay. I knew that would happen...she gave me until today to decide...I don't know what to do. I feel raelly guilty, and since I rarely think about me first, I'll probably stay just so I don't feel bad and so they don't hate me...this sucks...it really truly sucks.

Anyway, there's a midnight movie this week. And I'm going despite the fact I have work in the early early morning....whomever else wants to come, come. I'll probably be driving myself. I'm supposed to go to the DMV at 2ish...and then insurance place tomorrow. Oh the movie is OFFICE SPACE...all the more reason to come....


You Are A Margarita Martini

You are a full on partier, with a good deal of sass and spunk.

You're always friendly and welcoming - and very tolerant of obnoxious drunks.

You should never: Drink and dance. The pictures will be everywhere the next morning!

Your ideal party: Is loud, with good music and fun drinking games.

Your drinking soulmates: Those with a Dirty Martini personality

Your drinking rivals: Those with a Classic Martini personality

Your Personality Is Like Ecstasy

You're usually feeling the love for the world around you - you want to hug everyone.

And while you're usually content to sit back and view the world with wonder...

Sometimes you're world becomes very overwhelming and a little scary.

Monday, November 6


Mokan=lots and lots of fun and plenty of fun stuff learned....yay Glad I went. Somewhat happy I'm back, but not really. A lot of stuff is going on right now with my family [health] issues. Not fun....well, on a brighter note: 24 days until I don't work anymore :)

Hopefully see some of you tonight at the meeting place!!! 7-9p

Otherwise see you Friday and the midnight movie is Planes, Trains, and Automobiles! :)

Have an excellent week!!

Wednesday, November 1

Halloweeen :)

I had a ((surprisingly)) very fun and random halloween...wasn't planning on doing anything really...came home after volunteering and couldn't take it. I needed to be out. Soo I thought for a second about who I could call to hang out at such short notice, called them and I was out of the house. :) yay I finally got to go to Mystery Manor....then Zio's because there was extra time...and there was still extra time so we headed over to Haunt. Which was amazing and by far much better than Mystery Manor...so, I love being spontaneous every once and awhile like that.

Anyway, soo got home about 11...still refused to touch my homework/studying...I have a lot of projects overdue in physics. I hate astonomy. Give me the formula shit we've been working on before this planet stuff and I'll be fine....but for some reason I'm just not getting it. Or not focusing...or both...well, someday I'll get all that done...

sooo I don't think any of you know, but my grandma is in the hospital...it's to be expected when she's 82, weighs 65 lbs, has horrible osteoporosis, doesn't eat, doesn't exercise, and doesn't take her meds...well, I'm basically in denial about this whole situation. Partly because I've never experienced someone close to me die (yeah, that's a little negative, but the doc bluntly said if she didn't do what they told her to she will die)...well, I hope she gets fixed up. :( I don't think I'm going to go see her in the hospital, though...I don't want to face reality. I want to keep thinking she's in for some hip surgery or something....I'm kind of sleepy...